Holy sea cow.

Actually, I lost 3 pounds from somewhere last week. SO I WAS EVEN HUGE-ER!

I’ve reached 39 weeks. That leaves this kid 6 or less days to push himself out. I never thought I’d make it to this point. Which is silly! Because no one is pregnant forever. Although I’m sure if someone could be, it would be me. That’s the kind of luck I have. I’m officially on maternity leave now too, so all we have to do is wait. Andddddd wait.

Everyone has advice or hints on how to get labor started. Fresh pineapple, sex, spicy food, walking, a glass of wine, diddling your nipples, a pedicure, massaging certain points on your body. I spent $45 on ingredients to make Labor cookies and spent the next 3 days eating SPICY ginger cookies. I HATE anything spicy! Cookies that are made with cayenne pepper? Sure why not! If it will get me into labor, lets do it!

HEY, GUESS WHO’S STILL PREGNANT?!

The truth of the matter is…. none of these things actually work. A few of them have the potential to maybe start some contractions because of one thing or another. I know everyone swears they know someone who ate a whole pineapple and went into labor the next day. Or their sister in law ate mexican food every night and had her baby 2 days later! Coincidence, my friends. Coincidence. My OB told me that she wouldn’t let me be pregnant beyond March 22nd. To which I replied, “The 22nd? If I’m pregnant until then, I’m going to jump off this building!” She laughed. I did not.

BUT, no more whining. I loved being pregnant until a few weeks ago. Its an amazing experience. I can’t believe that I actually GREW a human. I just want him here. Now. Yesterday.

And back to my Oscar special, hosted by Oprah. ZZZzzzzzzzzz.

If you watched the Grammys last night, this will be a little repetitive. If you didnt, sorry…it’s all of my opinions. But you can clicky click on all of the pictures! ONWARD!

Lady GaGa opened the show and was amazing (as usual). I kind of expected her to do Poker Face, since that was the nominated song. But I was so happy she did Speechless. It’s my most favorite song from her latest CD. LOVED Elton John. And you could tell how happy she was to be performing with him. She took off the shades! The only other person she’s done that for is Barbara Walters. lol. Her red carpet outfit was pretty while still being Gaga. The performance outfit was my favorite. Her post performance outfit was out there. I’d be pissed if I was sitting behind her. And by now, I hope its pretty obvious that Lady GaGa does not, in fact, have a penis.

Beyonce won 6 awards which was record breaking, I guess. I love Beyonce and a lot of her songs are in my Top 25 on iTunes but she was so ‘meh’ this year. The red carpet outfit was atrocious. She’s a superstar! What is this grandma dress? Where is Tina Knowles? She would have made a more exciting choice than this!! The post performance outfit was a little more acceptable and more her. Still wasn’t blown away by it. Her performance was standard a Beyonce award show performance. Stomping around, excessive hair swinging, humping the floor. “If I Were a Boy” is one of my favorites and so is “You Oughta Know”. However, Beyonce is no Alanis. She’s not as angry as Alanis. B is married to Jay Z with a combined income of over 1 zillion dollars. Alanis was dumped by Uncle Joey!

Pink was the best performance of the night, IMO. She was practically naked, spinning around, high above the crowd while SINGING! The Grammys don’t allow lip syncing! Why do you think Jamie Foxx sang his whole song in autotune? And then she was dunked and dripping and spinning and then came down and didn’t fall over. I loved it. Maybe she didn’t win any of the awards she was nominated for, but she def won in the performance area. Maybe I am also a little bit biased because I want to do her husband. Had she not married Carey Hart, I would be actively seeking him out. I liked her red carpet dress. It’s a little bit different. Her performance outfit was BRAVE. She’s got an amazing body. I’m jeal.

I usually love Taylor Swift. Despite winning 4 awards, it just wasn’t her night. She sounded….flat? Boring? I don’t know what it was but it wasn’t her best by any means. She was cute during her acceptance speeches. Her red carpet outfit was classy and age appropriate, which I liked. Album of the Year though? Should have gone to GaGa.

Britney, Britney, Britney. SIGH. Has someone checked Jason Tratwick to make sure HE doesn’t have a screw loose as well? Papa Spears is still in control. Get this girl a stylist because from the looks of things, she does’t have one. At least I hope she doesn’t. Does Rachel Zoe do charity cases? Please? Anyone? Bueller?

Rihanna looked fabulous, but she’s usually does so there is no surprise here. I actually don’t hate the blonde rooster hairdo that she’s still rocking. Fergie looked super hot on the red carpet but WTF at her metal visor she was wearing during the BEP performance. Uh, 1993 called….

The tribute to MJ was nice. I just wish I had the 3D glasses. I loved the performance and performers, except for Usher. I’m just over him. And having his children accept the award on his behalf was sweet. Prince speaks just like MJ. And Paris is absolutely gorgeous. I’m also glad that their cousins weren’t allowed near the mic.

And last but not least, can I get a WTF? GTFO of here for Justin Bieber and Ke$ha? I get the train of thought (I think?). 2 new “artists” presenting the Best New Artist award. But isn’t there some kind of height or age requirement? And Ke$ha? Were they scraping the bottom of the barrel? Don’t get me started on Miss “I have a money sign in my name”. Miss “It’s pronounced Keh-sha”. I hope you continue to wake up feeling like P Diddy. It’s 14:59, bitch.

Thoughts?

Happy February everyone!! Yay for my birthday month and my last full month of pregnancy! My baby shower was this weekend and I loved every second of it. I’ll post pictures as soon as I find some that don’t accentuate my fat, pregnant face. For now….I must drag myself out of bed and hit the Starbucks drive thru.

Sorry for the shitty Blackberry pictures but our FURNITURE HAS ARRIVEDDDDDDDDDD!!! And the knobs just have to be put on in place of those silly red ribbons.

We went out to lunch yesterday after my Dr’s appt. We turned onto the road we live on and we were driving behind a big Ceva truck. The Ceva truck that was on his way to our house to drop everything off! Thank gahd we were tired and wanting to go take a nap rather than go shop like I um, wanted. lol.

My shower is Saturday so we’ll (hopefully) get the rest of the stuff we need and I can put everything together in the couple of days before we go away. We’re going to Lake Placid for a few days I guess. To a nice romantic hotel! And that’s all I know.

I’m excitedddddddddddddd.

I have nothing else to blog about. lol. I’d rather not detail my swollen hands or inhaling my own stomach acid, so LETS JUST POST PICTURES! Yay! I’m a whale!

I still cant get over the veins. Or the fact that we have 7 weeks to go. Woo.

I was going to venture out to the outlets in Lee, Mass. but I cant see to drag myself off the couch. Plus I probably shouldn’t buy anymore baby stuff until after my Shower next weekend. But when you can buy cute outfits like THIS!

How can you resist?? I cant shop for myself so why not? Its more satisfying to shop for him because you can buy so much for so little!

I’m off to go find some kind of motivation. Whether its to get up and get dressed, clean the house or just get the mail. haha. I should probably shower and look presentable. I’m meeting bf for dinner tonight while he’s working. FUN TIMESSSSSSSSS.

Mark McGwire admits steroid use?!?!? Shocking!!!

In other news, the sky is blue and water is wet.

JFC.

I’ve reached 31 weeks of pregnancy! Well, technically tomorrow will be 31 weeks but anyway.

I’m so veiny and pale. Anddd look how swollen my fingers are. Geez. Tattoo is still 3 shamrocks and my prepreg pants still fit. We’ll see how much longer though. The minute he drops, its all over. And I’ve managed to escape stretch marks so far! Thanks for the genes, mom.

You know what I havent managed to escape? Acid reflux after ingesting anything, including water. I live on Tums. Yay calcium? My ribs are bruised and my diaphragm is pushed into my throat! My boobs are leaking. HOW SEXY!  I know, sorry guys. TMI. The good news?! I survived the plague that I had last week! Woo!

Now that my future husband finally has 2 days off a week, the baby’s room is starting to actually get worked on! I dont use power tools so therefore, I am no help. BUT! The trim is up between the colors and the other trim (?) is on the floor trim (?). Is it called quarter round? I DONT KNOW THIS STUFF. What I do know, is that I’m ready for it to be done. I know I keep talking about this furniture but its coming!  The thing holding us back is, oh I dont know, the fact that its $1600 for 3 pieces. And its right after the holidays! And we arent going to charge it! We’re almost there. Hopefully it’ll get here before the baby is born.

Does anyone else’s significant other stalk their registries to see what people are buying? Mine does. Which is fine.  But then he tells me and I want to cry. He’s not the one who has to sit in front of 65 people in a few weeks, pretending to be surprised about what he’s opening! Granted, I dont know who bought what but still. The excuse is that he wants to know what we have left to buy. Uh huh, I think its just because you like to know everything!

I’ve been having cramps on and off the last few days and the only way to help it is to get up and move. I’m going to start cleaning something. Maybe I’ll reorganize the kitchen cabinets! Highly unlikely. I’m sure I’ll just move from the couch, get something else to eat and then find my way back to the couch.

We ate ourselves into a coma last night and ended up passing out before 10PM. Such an old couple. 7AM this morning, we were UP and READY TO RUN A MARATHON! Today was the day we were scheduled to pick up the TV we bought and the recliner I got Lover for Christmas. We’re the worst people to be together, $$ wise. We picked up the TV and a Kuerig coffee maker. Our bank has one! And I wanted one! Its so fun! And now I want to tear open all of the Christmas gifts. 2 more days, 2 more days!

So I’m 29 weeks today!! 11 more weeks!! Yesterday morning, as I was getting dressed, I noticed my belly was looking a little low. I saw my mom a little later in the morning and she said the same thing. When do you usually start to drop? I’ve been looking online, but the early I’ve seen is 33 weeks. I know I know, everyyyy pregnancy is different. But he still has 78 days! I DO feel like he’s going to come a little early though. But not now. The room isn’t even close to being finished. lol. Plus he’d be so little! Today we are going to be being bums on the couch until I go into work. I have to do one late shift a week and I decided to make it today because I left early yesterday and have off til Monday.

Please excuse all of the cat hair. Black is a hard color to wear when the cats want to share your face and boobs.

Back to the Today show. I’ve always hated Kathie Lee Gifford but I’ve come to love her. How could you not love two women who booze on national TV at 10AM?

Outside a broad downright rots the laughing luxury.

That whole one post a day didnt last long. It never does! haha. IM A FAILURE.

When you’ve got nothing else, post pictures, right? Here is my big 27 week belly. I’ll be 27 weeks tomorrow, but close enough, right?

Tattoo still intact. Half my belly button is holding on for dear life! I passed my GTT with flying colors, but found out I’m anemic. Womp womp. So now I’m eating lots of iron rich foods and drinking nothing but orange juice. Hopefully it helps and I dont have to go on supplements. Based on how my ribs feel, I’m predicting the baby will be a soccer player and very into karate. My mother is predicting a very active, crazy child. I dont disagree….the poor baby has two nutcases for parents.

We’re not making it to the City today. BOO. The weather was shitty this morning and Chris had to go arrest a 43 year old who gives booze to and sleeps with underage girls. Damn pedophiles always screwing up my plans!

I’m off. My mission of the day is to get our Christmas cards done. And to stop eating all these Reeses Cups!!

So our tree is up. Just not decorated yet. SUNDAY!!!!! Because we’ll BOTH BE HOME!!!!!! Imagine that?? Maybe by then our personalized stockings will be here and I can hang those too.

Its so much easier to do things now that we know we’re having a boy. First and foremost, we’ve decided on a first and middle name!! I was thinking the poor baby would be nameless forever. My 50,001 baby names book was pretty useless. C thought of the name and I loved it. Yay.

Next was the room. We’ve been using it as an office and a place for me to get dressed. It’s almost empty and is being painted on Thursday and Friday. Then we can FINALLY order the furniture!!! The colors are blue and green, with a thick white stripe in between. Hopefully it looks good. I’m sure I’ll cry whether I hate it or love it. I cried when we were picking the colors so WHY NOT. I’ll be SO happy when its painted and the furniture is moved in. THEN WE CAN START DECORATING. Can you feel my excitement???? I keep getting yelled at for buying clothes, so this can be shopping without the backlash!!!!!!!!

Okay, enough with the words.

Quick view of the room from the door.

The two colors. The picture is pretty close to real life I guess.

The crib and dresser we’re ordering. We’re not getting that hutch thing on top of the dresser. We’re also ordering the matching nightstand.

This is a better picture of the crib and the color. The store didn’t have the furniture so we have to order from Amazon. At least they offer free shipping!!

I wish I had more to write about but I’ve been so CRANKY the last couple of weeks. A lot of it has to do with work, which is not surprising I guess. Pregnancy being a pre-existing condition, I cant get health insurance if I leave, so I am stuck. And it BLOWS. March cannot come soon enough. The rest of our free time is spent on the house. How exciting! lol.

More pictures when things really start to come together.